A guide to better parenting
23 Jul

The Art of Parenting! – A Guide to better Parenting

Helping parents to nurture their kid right!

Inspired by - Pujya Sa. Chitprasannashriji M.S.

Happy Family

Have you ever seen a Pilot, Surgeon or a School Teacher without a formal training or professional education performing their duties?

If one is supposed to assume a position of responsibility, he has to be trained for it. Any kind of profession such as Doctor, Professor, driver, electrician, plumber, etc. needs special training as well as also requires licensing.

In contrast, no training or license/degree is required to give birth and raise a child i.e. parenting which one might speculate to be the most important responsibility in the world.

Parenting practices around the world share three major goals:

  • ensuring children’s health and safety
  • preparing children for life as productive adults
  • transmitting cultural values

A high-quality parent-child relationship is critical for healthy development.

Effective parenting is defined as the ability to interact and engage with children in such a way that they learn and grow into remarkable adults. Also, it is the process of promoting and supporting the physical, emotional, social, and intellectual development of a child from infancy to adulthood.

Such simple definition yet, parenting is the most complex task/responsibility which can make or break the future of your children as well as the society. Hence it becomes imperative to give a thought to the Art of Parenting and the various ways one can master this Art. This Art paints/creates the canvass of future of not only child’s individual life or his family but entire society. We all enjoyed listening to the funny childhood story of ‘Andher Nagari Chaupat Raja’ but just imagine if it came to reality how blunderous would that society be. Nobody wishes to make Chaupat Raja a part of the society.   And while this may sound superficial and exaggerated but it is true! But well that’s a topic for another day.

So you may ask what’s the topic for the day. Well then let’s get right into it! What we have done is taken up the void of confusion in parenting methods and tried to fill it with experiences of people been through it with very same thing.

  • Children’s behaviour

Parenting refers to the intricacies of raising a child and not exclusively for a biological relationship.

In Today’s world, Parents do not even have time to look at their children. Parents are busy with their personal life and fail to recognise the amount of time their child deserves or requires. Probably business, professional career or maybe some social commitment keeps them very occupied. The children of rich families grow up with nannies and servants(without the touch of intimate relationship with their very own parents). All this leads to a child growing up without a proper guidance or a stable learning environment as these factors are variables and keep altering with time leading to a confused child not knowing what exactly is good and what not!

Neglectful Parenting
Premissive Parenting
  • One should invest in one-on-one time with kids daily

By far, the best thing you can do to improve your children’s behaviour is spending time with them individually every day, giving them the positive attention and emotional connection they’re hard-wired to need. A way to positively parent your child is by just having conversation. Ask them about their day, whether it was a good day or bad one. It lets them know you care. The benefits of children having 24/7 access to their parents is fairly obvious I believe and of course it moulds character and personality.

  • Their Food Habits-Their Nutrition

We have a saying in Gujarati “આહાર તેવો ઓડકાર" (Aahaar tevo odkaar) – Meaning: Whatever you eat is what you Belch. “From the time a child wakes up in the morning until he goes to bed at night, do parents even know what, when and how much the child has eaten? Children eat Chocolates, Fast Food, Junk Food, Cold Drinks, Biscuits, etc. It fills their stomach but does their body get the necessary nutrients from it? What to feed your baby? What not to feed? Which food is preferred in which season? Which substances are harmful to health and which are beneficial? Parents should be aware of all this.

Junk food affects Children Learning
  • Discuss about food habits with children on a regular basis

Parents should try to explain the consequences of Junk food, prepare healthy meals your child likes. At the very least some efforts can be made to balance a nutritious diet with “fancy fast food”. Help your child develop a taste for nutritional food by getting them involved in the cooking process. As children, they will be tempted towards unhealthy food habits, peer influence playing a major role for the same, it becomes important for the parents to keep a check of their daily food habits.

  • The Effect of technology and social media

The biggest enemy of children today is the TV set. If you want to destroy the child’s life only then you should allow them to watch the Television programs. The TV set has become an escape for parents from their responsibility of helping the child spend time in a developing way. When the children are harassing and disturbing them, the parents switch on the TV and put the children in front of television. This kind of wayout calls for an expensive payback in the future. Of course there are some very useful programs that helps child in many ways but who are we lying to? Are those the ones you put on when you want a wayout? How many hours do children watch TV? What programs they watch? What are the contents shown in them? How it can affect a child's psyche? Does the Parent ever think about it? As technology advances, parenting becomes more difficult. First there was TV, now there is video CD player and internet. Everything is present in the house and easily available to the kids. How many parents do actually exercise the parental control feature available on such platforms to regulate the content their kids are exposed to? How many are even aware of it? In fact how many do even take interest in what content their kids are exposed to?

Previously there was only a single phone in the house. If your child talked to someone on the phone at home, all the members of the house would be at least aware of the context and kids stayed mindful of their language and content of discussion. If they talked too long, they would be stopped at some point of time. Today, children spend hours talking on their mobile phone with their friends. Parents don’t even have time to know what or whom they’re talking to! At a fixed time, they go out of the house and sit on the porch in the compound. At the exact time the bell rings, the conversation goes on for hours. This really compromises their safety and believe me there have been such instances. And what do parents do then? I understand that raising kids in a trusting environment is a compelling argument But trusting is one thing and leaving them completely on their own and being entirely unaware as to what is going on is totally another thing. Now even TV sets are placed in children's bedrooms. Parents don’t even know what content is being watched in their privacy. Long story short, what I want to convey here can be summed with this famous phrase – “Nazar hati, durghatna ghati”

Children Watching Television
  • Limit the Screen Time
    • Try to control the hours your child spends on such gadgets and the content that is exposed to them.
    • Set some disciplinary rules that need to be adhered diligently.
    • Introduce them to other interesting hobbies and activities.
    • Give your child a time limit which will restrict their use of social media and enable them to make personal connections.
  • The Effect of Peers and Social groups

Today, in major areas of big cities, Parenting classes have started. Some schools also hold regular parents' meetings today to teach them how to raise a child. But do these schools themselves have faith in any moral values? The real need today is just not to teach children how to compete, but also to teach them not to be dishonest, not to disrespect others, not to break the trust of elders and not to be selfish. Let’s say it is taught in school but what is the amount of emphasis laid on it. And while we’re very grateful to such genuine teachers who really care but to put this very bluntly – who will be more concerned in the end, a employee(teacher) on a payroll or a parent. So coming to the point again, it is you only who has to take care of these things ultimately.

Today, even an eight-year-old child speaks bluntly in front of elders and parents tolerate this behaviour. At school, he mocks the teachers. After all, these are the consequences of bad parenting. What will such children do when they grow up?

Parenting Aspects

The main reason of Looting in schools(it refers to schools looting the parents by charging exorbitant fees) is bad parenting. Parents don't even have time to watch or think what their child is studying. So they assume that what they can't teach as parents, a good school will teach their children. What does a good school imply? These parents don't even have time to think about it. The school that receives the most donations/has a good record in academics is their definition for the best school. Who cares what is taught in this well-known school, how it is taught and how much it really benefits the child? Parents are freed by placing their responsibility on the school and the tuition teacher. Another wayout is it?

  • Don’t ignore the source of misbehaviour

Misbehaviour is always a symptom of a deeper issue, and when we can find what causes it, we can use the right strategies to correct it.

  • Don’t try to curb your child’s autonomy.
    • At the same time, do not tolerate rude behaviour.
    • You can always respect their opinions, but teach them what is right and wrong.
    • Your calmness and composure will definitely soothe them.
  • Have a hold/knowledge of yours child’s outdoor time

A way to positively parent your child is with curfew or time limits they can be out away from home. Time away from home is important for them to develop and understand the world but make sure they understand the limits imposed on them for their own safety and well being. It goes without saying that this changes according to different ages. But hey! everything in moderation has probably never harmed anyone. It is too much or too less that needs worrying about.

  • Help your child in treading the moral path and inculcate cultural values

You need to be in-charge of their lives by teaching them what is right and wrong. Help and nurture them so that they can flourish. Do not abandon children to their fate ever. Take care of them.

  • Avoid the competitive parent trap

It’s more important than ever that you don’t use your children’s results to boost your parental ego. Competition leads directly to hostility and greed, both of which are the enemies of progress. If we want to advance our children and ourselves, we must learn that competition is not the path to victory — cooperation is.

  • The Effect of Elders and inculcation of moral values

Previously grandparents were helping in the orientation of the new generation. They would spend quality time with the children and inculcate life values to them. They used to tell children inspirational stories from legends as bedtime stories which served two purposes – the stories would enrich their knowledge at the same time good values would be inculcated. The entire family used to have food together. Today, due to the numbers of such Joint families dwindling ,hardly any children get these aforementioned benefits of living with elders.

  • The work that grandparents used to do earlier should be done by parents

If nothing else, you should switch off the TV for an hour before going to bed at night. The baby should be placed in the crib. Lovingly he/she should be told the righteous inspiring stories. They should inspire them to make their life rich and virtuous. Infant and toddler years are very essential for developing a loving and affectionate relationship. Failing to do the same, in future, would result in nuclear families where sometimes parents have to consider the option of old age  or are forced. This is a prevents the win-win of joint family where old parents lose the support they need for certain activity or chores and child loses the benefits of having an experienced elder around for his upcoming family.

Granmother narrating stories to childrens
Happy Childrens with Grandparents

Good books are man's best friend. By giving the children inherited land, car, bungalow and property, all this, then maybe their young one full of potential will go ashtray. Good morals require the company of good friends, good monks and good books. The child should be taught to distinguish between a good friend and a bad friend. Parents who are concerned about their child should also keep an eye on their friends. Keep your child away from a friend if he seems ill mannered or uncultured. A cultured friend should be found. All this happens only when the parents themselves are cultured and the lover of cult.

Today many rich and progressive families have a bar in the house and parents sip whiskey in front of their child. Some parents watch questionable content in their bedroom. The child peeks through the crack in the door. The child witnesses their early role model doing all this and sometimes even try to replicate these actions at a young age. There have been countless instances of child sneaking a bottle of beer from the fridge or call their friends and enjoy the pleasures of same habits their parents have when they’re not around. What is the reason of this you ask? Easy access to these things and why easy access BECAUSE THEY’RE AVAILABLE AT HOME ITSELF. There are also some studies pointing that access to sexual content before maturity leads to desperation evolving into sexual crimes like rape.This provokes us to think about the price of this so called over-rated “progressiveness”.

  • As a parent, you are a role model to your children

As such, you should be cautious of how you carry yourself with respect and dignity. When you are in the presence of your children, you should remember that they are watching you. Therefore, before reacting to any situation, you need to assess the kind of influence you will have on your children

Today's times are really tough. The Children’s’ minds are vulnerable to various attacks from all sides. There is every possibility of children falling prey to these attacks. Only parents have the power to protect them.  Teachers today are not ready to take such a responsibility. “Our society has become alienated from Dharmaguru(monks)” In these circumstances the responsibility of the parents and especially the mother is greatly increased.

parent, you are a role model to your children

Lastly, not for the welfare of society, not for the welfare of children, but not to darken one's own future, Parents should teach good moral values to their children and civilize them. Today's children are tomorrow’s citizens. It is up to the parents to shape this citizen. For that, parents have to play a significant role on their part!

To Happy Parenting!

P.S. – If you have questions or doubts or want us to continue on the same topic do express your interest in the comment section. In this blog we have just tried to present some of the basic things that are right in front of our eyes!


  1. Very nicely explained👍😊
    My question is how to keep involve infants in developmental activities?
    What new activities (apart from telling stories) would you suggest so that they stay away from gadgets?

    1. Encourage playtime with your baby. Playtime gives you an opportunity to enjoy play with your child and also to help them to develop their skills of observation, touch, speech, motor skills, smell, taste and much more. Also try to encourage your baby’s mobility as much as possible. Activities such as painting, drawing, and working with play dough are art activities that children of all ages can enjoy.Try using materials such as safe, non-toxic play dough, paint, crayons etc. Choose toys that allow babies to explore and interact.Sing those nursery rhyme songs you remember which helps to learn rhythm and vocabulary.Model empathic feelings for others. Use teachable moments when someone seems sad or upset to help your toddler learn about feelings, caring, sharing, and kindness. The more brain connections you create for empathic responses and gentle courtesies, the more these brain circuits will be wired in. This helps not only with language and cognitive learning, but with positive emotional skills, too!
      Include infants and toddlers in spiritual activities such as worship and prayers.Use teachable moments to highlight spiritual truths.

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